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Animated Atrocities 23/Transcript
[A black card saying "Some viewers may find this disturbing, viewer discretion is advised." is shown.] British Announcer: Some viewers may find this disturbing. Viewer discretion is advised. Mr. Enter: of "One Coarse Meal" A lot of people say that season nine of SpongeBob is actually good, or at least better than the previous few seasons. of "Stuck in the Wringer"''Well there are two things those people need to answer for: ''cards of "Little Yellow Book"... "Little Yellow Book" and "Squid Baby". "Squid Baby". I'll be dealing with "Squid Baby"''now and ''"Little Yellow Book" later. Mostly because I thought I'd knock the worst one out first. It starts with Squidward trying to take a relaxing bath, but is distracted by surprise surprise, SpongeBob and Patrick. They're playing with baby toys. Yes really. They have become flanderized that much. What happened to them singing that they were men in the actual movie? You know what, this shit is enough trauma without remembering what SpongeBob used to be. So we're just going to have to pretend that old SpongeBob didn't exist. Squidward: Are you two acting even more infantile than usual? SpongeBob: Uh huh. 'Cause I found a box of my old baby toys in the attic. Mr. Enter: Oh that excuses it, except it doesn't. They eventually go from playing with baby toys to acting like full-fledged babies. Fluttershy would have a field day with these two. Eventually Squidward gets annoyed to the point of going outside to scold SpongeBob and Patrick. They wind up a jack-in-the-box that causes them to cry. I can only assume they're doing it in earnest. Squidward says he's going back to his grown-up lifestyle, trips on one of the toys, uh oh, they're playing the shenanigans music! Squidward is screwed. He hits his head on the mailbox and it inflates, oddly enough. Hey they actually decide to take Squidward to the hospital! of "Stuck in the Wringer" Well that's a step up from one of our last excursions. to "Squid Baby". Along the way, Squidward's head keeps bouncing on the ground. The doctor gives his... is moaning on the hospital bed SpongeBob: So what's the prognosis doctor? Prognosis: He has about a five percent chance of making it to season 12 alive, conservatively estimated. Mr. Enter: His diagnosis! A prognosis is a guess as to the condition where someone's going to end up. A diagnosis is straight up what's wrong with him. Saying prognosis doesn't make you sound more medical. Doctor: Your friend has a condition known by the medical term of "head-go-boom-boom-itis". Nerd Rage time. Mr. Enter: And adding "itis" to the end of a word does NOT MAKE IT A DISEASE! The "itis" suffix refers to inflammation. This is just a pet peeve of mine, but I really wish any show would stop doing this. If nothing is inflamed, which a head injury is very unlikely caused, then you should not call whatever-itis. That brings me to my next point. This episode is going to make fun of head trauma while simultaneously having Patrick and SpongeBob taking care of an adult in a diaper, on a kids show. The doctor warns SpongeBob that Squidward's not to take anymore blows to the head or he may be stuck that way permanently. Guess what happens next. Patrick: Ready for some fun? Whoope-doo! Squidward up the ceiling Mr. Enter: Literally the next scene! Yeah the doctor told them to take care of Squidward like he's their very own baby. Patrick: Ready for some fun? Whoope-doo! Squidward up the ceiling Mr. Enter: Didn't they already do this? I believe it was in "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve". So they go about taking care of Squidward by doing all the normal babysitting episode clichés with all of the spit and drool. Except for the fact that Squidward is an adult. I swear if I didn't know any better, I think I was watching someone's fetish porn. Eventually, Squidward gets outside of the house and crawls on to the road. A truck almost hits him, but Patrick lifts up the road. That's a very nice gesture until we see that putting the road back down crushed Squidward's head. They rescue him... If a truck was launched off a straight ramp on a straight road, it should have landed on the same road. More nerdrage. and the truck destroys Squidward's house because of course it does. Screw the laws of trajectory! They put Squidward in a cage and he starts crying. Patrick's watching "Rock-a-Bye Bivalve." Then we get some filler of him continually crying. It's not funny. It's just really annoying. Patrick disappears completely from the story anyway. '''Eventually, the three of them have to go to the Krusty Krab, because I don't know. Guess what? Mr. Krabs doesn't care about Squidward's condition, at all! You know what? At this point, I wouldn't put it past him. So, SpongeBob puts Squidward in a highchair at the register and he hits his head again. Could you imagine how horrifying this episode would be if they used an actual infant!? '''Patrick: Ready for some fun? Whoope-doo! Squidward up the ceiling Mr. Enter: '''Then we have more drool jokes, because why not. It's at this point the episode becomes painful... They throw in some really horrible jokes as Squidward plays with the pencil and paper. '''Nat: '''My face! Also my leg, but mostly my face! '''Mr. Enter: '''Wow, you ARE trying to kill old Spongebob; JOKES AND ALL! Squidward gets hit in the head, again, and starts crying. Are you ready for the climax!? Squidward shits his pants... ''Not the closest shot of the dirty diaper in the episode. '''''Really fucking nice! Mr. Krabs yells at Squidward and he hits his head AGAIN! So, SpongeBob goes around the restaurant looking for a place to change Squidward. Ay, SpongeBob, you'd think that the bathroom would be a good idea for that? You know what? I guess Mr. Krabs is a better idea. '''Mr. Krabs: '''Take him in back where the food is prepared. '''Mr. Enter: '''Eventually, they get kicked out, but SpongeBob accidentally steps on a raddle. They have a sequence where they keep hitting Squidward on the head. Until they both crash into an ice machine. And that turns Squidward back to normal. He realises that he's wearing an used diaper and... '''Squidward: '''Not another word about this! Ever! '''Mr. Enter: '''Agreed! Category:Transcripts